The Moment of Truth is closing in with the speed of light. Literally. Three years ago I gave myself a promise that on January 29, 2008 I would quit smoking. Cold turkey. (In case someone doesn't know this term, it means just to stop without tapering down, without patches, without nicotine gum, without Chantix - or whatever is the name of the new miraculous drug that completely messes up the 'nicotine receptors' in your brain to 'help you quit' blah blah...). The actual Moment of Truth will come at midnight, actually 23:59:59, 29 January. Why that day? Because it's my birthday. My 30th birthday, and my hope that quitting this 'early' in my life will help 'regenerate' my lungs... Well, ok, maybe not regenerate, but clean up and hopefully regain the capacity of the times before my first. Please be supportive, and I don't mean the kind 'ah you'll start within a (insert time frame ad lib)' or the kind 'yea right...'. Real support. Anyway, the day is going to be spectacular. Most of my friends and most of my co-workers (in many cases the subsets are intersecting) have promised to share this day with me, and here's the plan for the day. In case someone who happens to run across this als
They say, if you love someone, tell them. Carpe diem quam minimum credula postero. You never know what tomorrow brings. They might die and never know. You might die and never tell. Happiness just might be those three words away... Though if the loved one doesn't love in return, rather, in fact, despises and fears, such an admission might be grounds for avoidance, more fear, even disgust. Which one will it be? It's a risky game, with only one's heart being a stake. Just a little bit more to lose than one's dignity. Is it worth it...?
I wrote this song about a year ago. A year is a long time, however, until recently, every single word of it was painfully accurate and fresh. The face that haunted me day and night, has finally disappeared from my mind. Well, not completely, rather shifted from the "Active" file to "Memories". I think it is time to say that 'that day is here.'
Somehow I can't help it, I find it easier to keep myself busy one way or another, than to let my mind go loose and actually submerge in thinking. Reading, for instance. Works wonders. Someone's else's thoughts fill in the space before my own thoughts can. And that's good.