Have you ever cared for an animal? And do you know how to catch when it escapes? We used to have rabbits, chickens and ducks at home. I also kept a lot of hamsters, mice, rats, guinea pigs, small birds, exotic insects, frogs, turtles - 45 different kinds of animals in total. When one of them escaped it was hard to catch if I was stressed and moved too quickly. It was much easier if I was still and calm.
Humans are just like animals 😍.
We all know how it is. Square dancers love to help other dancers. The problem is that they can stress out the person they are trying to help and the dancer being helped will most probably make more mistakes than if he had not received any help.
📌 Basic things I need to do if I really want to help in SD:
I will not speak in a square. Not a single word!
I don't have to save the whole world.
If I'm troubled and frustrated that others make mistakes, I have a piece of chocolate before dancing. Works against dementors (read Harry Potter). I will also offer chocolate to the other dancers 🤗.
When I want to help, I do it without words, only with small gestures. Preferably with a smile. Ideally so, that only the person I'm helping notices the help!
I walk to the rhythm of the music. Always!
Note: Writing "I" I don't want to command anyone. It's a recommendation. It is the way to express how I would act.
Let's not talk in the square!
Imagine: You're already insecure, regretting your mistakes, and someone starts talking to you. In any situaton this may make a person more nervous, but in square dancing, with limited time and attention, it’s worse. It will be harder for them to hear the caller and they are likely make even more mistakes. Once I have experienced a person who was extremely "helpful". He disturbed me although I was dancing two squares away 🤯.
As a caller, I have 2 options to communicate this:
■ I will communicate to all dancers to not talk if they want to help. If they do that everyone will make fewer mistakes. "Not a single word, please!"
■ Or I will approach to specific dancers privately: "Please, can you help me?" I will use the same arguments.
Stress can be a big enemy in a square. Stress distracts attention. My personal experience: As a caller, I can resolve the situation (repeat, teach, explain) but first I need to find out "where the problem is". If everyone is talking to each other, I can't make a diagnosis because of the chaos on the floor. Step #1 is to eliminate the chaos.
As a dancer I can do the same in square. If someone is talking, I will tell the whole square before the next tip that the best situation would be if no one speaks. I once experienced a caller who had a very noticeable accent and dancers hardly understood him. In almost every square there was someone trying to repeat those calls. Caller said: "Partner trade" and the entire hall resonated with echo: "Partner trade, partner trade, partner trade..." I suggested in our square that we should not do it and although not everyone always understood, we actually danced better.
Another example: Several years ago there was a group of dancers at a Special Dance from a club that didn't have a caller and they practiced dancing only with recordings. One of them tried to manage others but made mistakes himself. They were standing more often than dancing. When I joined them, firts I quited the person who was talking by asking everyone not to talk. It worked out. I spent more tips with them and they danced much better 👏.
To be clear: I'm not saying you can't laugh, have fun, tell each other (or a caller) jokes. Any positive/fun verbal communication is fine! More specifically: Anything that doesn't break the square, is fine. But when a square falls out, it's not fine! Because of the verbal effort to help a square often breaks down. Many times I have seen people who tried to help for so long that in the end they didn't know where to go and the square broke down. Which is related to...
I don't have to save the whole world!
My personal experience: In 1990 I was the first plus dancer in Czechoslovakia. I taught Plus in my club and many other clubs too. I'm one of the best dancers at this level. Still, I can remind myself that I don't have to save the world and to focus on my own steps! Sometimes it's best to hold your position contentedly and to allow the lost dancers to find a free place on their own. There is less stress in the square because the lost people feel good that they were able to find the place on their own.
It's a mistake to always want to be perfect! There are people who don't let weaker or beginning dancers breathe for not even a little bit - they talk at them, show them, push them. If the beginners were given a chance to breathe, if they were given some space, many times those dancers would have figured out what to do themselves. Maybe a one second later but they would find out (and they will not learn without a given space). I recently experienced a rather funny situation when 4 women focused on 1 man at once - three danced with him in a square, another was sitting but also helping (one of them was a very good A2 dancer, the other was his wife, the last two were callers). During a break, I took all four women out discreetly and gave a short speech: "This man is a very poor man! Any man, including me, would be nervous under a such pressure. If you want to help this poor man, give him space and let him breathe!" They laughed, they did as I asked and it worked 💖.
Another funny situation happened recently when a person wanted to tell one dancer (lady) to go left. But he was standing on her right side. Guess which way the woman turned ... 🤩 ... right! To the right! If I am on the right side and a lady is supposed to go left, is the best not to say anything to her: "Let someone else help! I'm holding my position!"
I confess: I didn't always know what I know today. I spoke loudly, stressed the dancers, wanted to manage everyone. I was an idiot. I figured 15 years ago that it could be done much better. Till now I've had fun learning how to do it even more effectively.
💡 Leadership
Whether you're a caller or a dancer, being able to do these things is a matter of leadership. Do you believe in what you are doing? Do you have a vision? Will you be able to step up and lead others in a way they don't know? If you answered 3x "yes", then you have a chance to be a leader. I have read many books about zoology and animal behavior (technical term - ethology). One zoologist studied chimpanzees and described conflict resolution - in a chimpanzee troop, there is often a male who acts as a peacemaker. It doesn't always have to be the alpha male, it can also be the oldest/most experienced male. The zoologist literally wrote: "I have known male chimpanzees who were able to avert an impending conflict simply by shifting their weight to one leg or raising their eyebrows." I read it over and over and thought: "Wow! I want to be as good as a male chimpanzee!" I define leadership as the ability to achieve the desired result with a small intervention. Achieve the result with the least possible intervention❗ Who stresses out the dancers instead of helping them, is not a leader. Anyone who speaks so loudly that they disturb all the squares around them, is not a leader. Which brings me to the fourth point...
When I really want to help, I use small, non-verbal gestures that I show the dancers in advance!
Most often we need dancers to do Half sashay and U-turn back. Small gestures with one hand are very good for this. Watch a short video.
Video with dancers. They did exactly what I wanted.
I have been using these gestures for many years. All my dancers understand them. They are effective when you are in the square, I can use them even when I am standing on the stage - I point to the dancer and make a gesture. It works! And the best part is that I don't disturb others by saying things like: "You and you - half sashay!" Every caller has the experience that sometimes someone else turns and chaos happens. Using only a gesture is much better. Of course, this only works if the dancer can see me - however, it is in my power to turn him around 😉.
If I'm in a square, I don't speak and just use these little gestures. It's the best possible way. As I wrote in the points above, it is best if I do it so subtly (hidden) that only a respective person knows that I'm helping. Just a small intervention. Friendly. Intimate. "Just you and me. No one else needs to know that I helped you!" I don't claim that it is always a success. But if it is, I'm proud of myself.
Do you understand what I mean?
🚩 Stress is the enemy of SD
If you let stress continue (and if you feed it), you will constantly perceive it. You will be nervous yourself. You will be out of tune. You will see the world in black (or blue if you are in America). You will carry your stress allways with you. You will be like a caller who got upset at one of my clubs and said that the dancers were making so many mistakes that the dance looked really terrible. I called there a week later and didn't agree. Yes, the beginners needed to learn, they needed to repeat but it was not a tragedy. We all relaxed and it was fun. We left the stress behind.
When stress disappears, we get space for dancing and fun!
The more dancing and fun, the more attractive the SD will be!
Good luck!
I thank my wife Žaneta and daughter Zuzka, who both speak English much better than I and corrected many of my mistakes!
Thank you to the callers who read the text and wrote me their opinions, comments or corrections: Anne Uebelacker, Walt Burr, Glenn Rogerson, Paddy Böhnke.
P.S. Five basic points to eliminate stress need to be constantly reminded. Last year I called in a club in wherel hadn't been for 6 months and found out that the caller, who worked there, did not communicate these policies. The dancers talked during the dance. I had to remind them. I don't need to do this in clubs that I regularly visit.
P.P.S. ⚠ I am going to write a separate article about the rhythm in SD.
